I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize