Non-Jews are for practice
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize