That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Farmville is her only friend.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
