I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
