ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize