i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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