community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize