I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
