Do you still have your period?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
