Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
