btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it glows. i had to have it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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