arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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