I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
