I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
