Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Randomize
