Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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