Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize