He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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