my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
