Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
