the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
