guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
