i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
