Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
