just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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