im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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