I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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