i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
