Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
