I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
