You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
