He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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