Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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