another moral hangover. fuck.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
