I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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