My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
