so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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