When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize