are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
