i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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