No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize