babies were throwing up all over the place
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
