How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
