its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
