I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
