Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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