Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
