i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
