im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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