i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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