I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
