Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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