I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
