Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
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my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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