do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
