That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I AM VODKA MAN
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize