you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
