i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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