1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
