no, he came in my armpit
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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