before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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