Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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