coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
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I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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