we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
