porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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