I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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