Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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