gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
